Happy Anniversary

It's been more than 6 months since I turned in my application to the Iranian Embassy to get my papers updated so I can visit Tehran to get to the bottom of what happened to my grandmother. While they refuse to tell me the status of my application and they have had no correspondence with me (strangely, they send things to my dad instead, in true paternalistic fashion--even though I never sent them my dad's address!), they still have my address. Which is why I got a strange piece of mail the other day. The envelope had already been carefully steamed opened (probably by U.S. Postal Service?). Inside, was a card.

Check out those rockets in the upper left-hand side right under the peace arch!

I opened it up, wondering if the card told me my application had finally gone through.

 

But it was all in Farsi, and I don't read it. All I could make out was a picture of the Ayatollah Khomeini coming out of a plane.

The only thing in English was written on the back, which is how I found out where it was from.

I took pictures of the card and emailed them to my dad so he could read it for me. Apparently, it's just an anniversary card, celebrating the Islamic Revolution of 1979 (the year I was born). This April, the Iranian Revolution will be 33 years old, and so will I. It's good to know that I am on the mailing list... even if my application has been forever lost in the black hole of bureaucracy. 

Happy Valentine's

Last year, in Iran, officials banned the sale of Valentine cards and "other heart-shaped products." This year, selling red roses can land you in jail. Why? Because Valentine's Day is part of the "soft war" in which the West spreads its dreaded culture. Meanwhile, in Iran, I guess the bans are pretty useless because restaurants are booked and the English words "I love you" are printed everywhere.

Why are the mullah's so freaked out about "the spread of Western culture"? I'll tell you why! Because you might end up like me... dating a Jew. This new relationship of mine is somehow at the nexus of a global anxiety. But it only figures, right? You can use me as a litmus test for everything Iran is freaked out about happening to the next generation. Whoops! I'm too far gone to salvage. Consider me a casualty of the soft war. Happy Valentine's, and may you see many heart-shaped products today.