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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The symbol of America's individualism is... Persian.

He's Persian.

He's the same age as me.

He went to the UW and was in the same department my dad graduated from.

Must. Activate. Persian. Network. Stat. lol

Monday, August 6, 2012

Now You Know Why


I’m sorry for the long hiatus, dear readers. I have no excuse except to say that I was going through the oldest ill of humankind: heartbreak. But I think I’ve emerged from the tunnel now and am fully re-focused on getting to Iran. I saw my dad a few weeks ago and he said he had visited the Interests Section of the Islamic Republic in D.C. when he was on a work trip there, and he inquired about the status of my papers that have seemingly disappeared into the ether. He has also sent distant cousins to check the offices in Tehran. He seemed optimistic and said I should have my papers within a month. I am more doubtful than that.

In other news, I recently randomly decided to get a DNA test. I swabbed the inside of my cheeks and sent it off to the lab. Strangely enough, the results reveal that Iran shows up as #8 in the list of countries that match my DNA. What?! For as far as anyone can remember on both sides of my family, we've always been from Iran. That's the great thing about DNA, I guess: that you can go way far back, to before people can remember. 

So what what was the #1 country that my DNA matched? Get this: Kuwait. Well, it makes sense. Kuwait is just across the Persian Gulf. Either some Kuwaitis came to Iran and banged my ancestors, or my Iranian ancestors went to Kuwait and became sexually popular. It's still weird either way. Oh, and this is weird too: I share a significant amount of DNA with modern-day people in... Spain. Again, this makes sense because, as we know, people from the Middle East conquered Spain back in the 700s. Also, Columbus (who was a Spaniard) first landed in modern-day Puerto Rico when he "discovered" America. Which is why, yes... I also share DNA with Puerto Ricans. I've been told I look Puerto Rican and Spanish before. As bizarre as it is, now I know why.