Persian Style

Before I re-cap Sunday's episode of "Shah's of Sunset," I have to take a moment and ruminate on one of Asa's recent interview outfits:

What's up with the turban, girl? And that awful thing around your neck? If you're trying to tap your inner Persian--please!--for the love of all things good, veil yourself. This heinous outfit makes Asa look like she's peddling $5 fortune readings. To those who know nothing about traditional Persian dress: Please ignore this. Also, we do not have flying carpets. 

But at least Asa stuck with her original schnoz. We can't say as much about GG, the resident Mean Girl. It's clear from her "before" and "after" pics, that she underwent the routine Persian Nose Job (pretty much standard for all Persian chicks--no, I never got one).

GG: Before

Sweet girl with peach fuzz.

So she's a little busted, but aren't we all?

GG: After


The Wrath of "GG" and her modified nose, post-laser-hair-removal.

But back to the topic at hand... In this week's episode of "Shah's of Sunset," the girls go out for a ladies dinner. GG confronts MJ about being late to her party last week. Then Anita confronts MJ about instigating a fight from a previous episode in Las Vegas about how her outfit was two seasons old. At this point, Asa's random friend lashes out at GG.

Good times!

Said friend then stomps out of the restaurant. Then Asa won me over a little bit. She came back and told GG that she was being mean. Mind you, this is a very un-Persian thing to do. Persians only talk shit behind your back, so kudos to Asa for being up front!

(Still doesn't make her M.I.A. or Lady Gaga though.)

There was a serious moment. Reza tells us all about how his mom is Muslim and his dad is Jewish and how his dad had to convert to marry his mom. You can imagine my ears totally perked up at this plot point!

(I'm warming up to him, honest.)

Apparently, his dad's mom really resented that her son converted to Islam and he eventually cheated and moved out to Great Neck, NY (for those not in-the-know: Great Neck=Persian Jewish Ghetto and, yes, many of the people I dated in my Year of Persian Dating were from Great Neck).

So he and MJ fly out to New York where they arrive for Shabbat dinner at his father's family's garish home. Please observe this room, because this is pretty standard for Persian Aesthetic:

This might as well be my parents' living room. Standard fare includes loud Persian carpets, Louis XV furniture (preferably painted gold), marble table-tops and crystal chandeliers. Persians think they live in Versailles. 

Reza takes his dad out to "connect" with him and to confront him about abandoning the family. Reza's dad breaks down sobbing... Then he blames everything on his mother. Way to be a man! The camera pans to the twisted woman in question. Behold... the face of EVIL INCARNATE:

This woman ruined everything.

Another thing about Persian men: They're all momma's boys. Everything is for their dear mothers. But, even so, they just loooove to blame everything on mommy when things go wrong. "She forced me to do it!" they cry. "It's all HER fault!" Because clearly, they have absolutely no responsibility in anything that goes wrong.


The episode ends with a very sunshiney moment in which Reza wishes that Jews and Muslims would unite, putting "our bullshit aside." Well said, Reza. Well said. The real answer to world peace: Kill the grandmothers.