The Conundrum

I have three female cousins. Two of them have had nose jobs--and neither of them were rich either. In Iran, instead of getting your driver's license at 16, you get your nose smashed in. "Nose, Iranian Style" is a documentary by Mehrdad Oskouei that is totally fascinating and one that I would recommend.

Having been born and raised in the U.S. (and not in the city of L.A.--also known as "Tehrangeles"), I was raised not to think much about plastic surgery. But, when I was in Iran in 2005, I allowed one of my cousins to convince me to visit a plastic surgeon. I was just sort of, well, curious... and it couldn't hurt. The doctor's office had two exam rooms and a waiting room full of veiled girls with bandaged noses. My cousin came into the exam room with me. There was something distinctly weird about the fact that I had to wear a headscarf the whole time, making sure no strand of hair showed on my head, all the while with the doctor lifting my shirt to comment on the imperfection of my stomach (which I happen to like, thank you very much!). I left the office feeling a little violated, but my cousin had stars in her eyes. This was before she got her nose job, and she went on and on about what she'd do to her nose if she could ever afford the surgery. I told her what a bad idea it was, but she was unmoved. Three years later, her dream came true.

When my paternal grandmother was killed, they destroyed all images of her (except for one photograph which I stole) and they burnt all of her belongings. It was before the time of plastic surgery, but when I look at this one remaining photograph, I can tell my grandmother was a woman who liked to look her best and improve what she had: She wore a stylish floral-print dress and clutched a purse in front of her stomach. Her hair was short and waved. It's a black & white photo so I can't tell, but it looks like she's wearing lipstick too. I bet she would have gotten a nose job too if she could.

Porchista Khakpour (who I knew when I went to Sarah Lawrence), wrote an awesome article in Salon about the death of Bijan, the celebrated (and totally gaudy) Persian designer here:

In 1982, [Bijan] created a gold designer gun. He told Time, "I wanted to make something so American. I wanted to design a gun that people who hate guns would want to have and touch and play with because it's so pretty." The $10,000 limited edition .38 Colt revolver was made of 56 grams of 24-karat gold and sold in a mink pouch with a Baccarat crystal case embossed with the customer's name.

(Check out the evil comments left on the article.)